Ross: sorry if i kept you up.
Me: oh no i was fine up until i woke myself up at 2am with a zombie nightmare....
‘Since I just let you hit me in the face with string cheese can you please not do anything else weird for at least a little...
Me: He was sweet little Brobasaur and then he seemed to evolve overnight into like… Doucheasaur…
Ru: That is Brobasaur’s...
‘I can’t believe I just fit that whole thing in my mouth. I’m impressed.’ - Joe (while consuming a blueberry muffin)
Victoria: It’s kind of a weird thing, really. I totally understand why recruiters exist, but I feel like I’m getting something for free, and it feels weird. Because I’m getting career advice and someone who will help me find a job… for free.
Me: What if it was your job to get other people jobs? That’s a weird job. How very meta.
Victoria: What if a recruiter helped you get a job as a recruiter?
Me: Whoa. Mind? Blown.
Victoria: This is why we shouldn’t smoke pot.
Me: ARRA! I miss you.
Rachelle: I miss you, too!
Me: We are like ships passing in the night.
Rachelle: We’re more like raccoons on the internet…
Me: That sounds like a band name…
Victoria: I just found a recipe for buffalo goat cheese balls on Pinterest. Holy Jesus.
Alison: OMG, let’s do that. Wait… what’s a buffalo goat?
Alison: OH! Buffalo FLAVOR. That makes more sense. I was like, where does buffalo goat cheese come from? Buffalo goats, obviously.
Scene: Ken and I are driving home from NY and the person in front of us was driving… like a jerk.
Ken: Do they even know what they’re doing?
Alison: They’re from Delaware, they have no clue. They are not even aware.
Ken: They’re not even Del-aware.
Alison: HA. I get it.
::Ken shakes head::
Alison: So, her mom invited me to her engagement party… but she spelled my name “A-L-L-Y-S-O-N”. That’s a new one.
Victoria: Special. That literally could not be further from the correct spelling… unless she had a stroke and spelled it “J-E-N-N-Y”.
Julie: Ok. Done my Kinesiology take-home. ::takes a bow::
Alison: ::throws a parade::
Julie: Now back to our regularly scheduled Kinesiology presentation. ::defenestrates notebook::
Colleen: I am le tired.
Me: I am le Vicodin’d. Bed for me.
Colleen: Noooo. You clearly need to be driving a car!
Me: YES. Heavy machinery.
Colleen: That’s what I’m told to do after I pop pills. My doctor says so. Like right after I had my appendix out. They were like, “GO! Go drive a car!” so I did. (I didn’t.)
Me: See, logic is your friend!
Karin: No, YOU are my friend. Logic is just an acquaintance I don’t really understand.
Alison: Ok, so, logic is my friend, and I am your friend. So by the transitive property, logic is your friend! See? Math. It works.
Me: Do I want to go get ice cream? Because I think I do… but that requires pants.
Nicole: Ah, the age old decision. No pants or ice cream. It’s a toughie. Personally, I’d vote ice cream. In fact, I kind of want ice cream now. But I’m wearing pants, so maybe that made it easier.
Me: Great! You go get the ice cream and bring it here, and then we can both have ice cream and I can continue not wearing pants.
Nicole: You are entirely ridiculous.
NB: Nicole lives in Chicago.