Ross: sorry if i kept you up.
Me: oh no i was fine up until i woke myself up at 2am with a zombie nightmare....
‘Since I just let you hit me in the face with string cheese can you please not do anything else weird for at least a little...
Me: He was sweet little Brobasaur and then he seemed to evolve overnight into like… Doucheasaur…
Ru: That is Brobasaur’s...
‘I can’t believe I just fit that whole thing in my mouth. I’m impressed.’ - Joe (while consuming a blueberry muffin)
Alison: Apparently, since she doesn’t have insurance, we can’t eat her cake.
Pam: It’s cake. What needs insurance?
Alison: Liability insurance. In case someone dies from eating your cake?
Pam: We are far too litigious.
Alison: I know, it’s ridiculous. We’re litigating cake.
Alison: Also, what is this weather??
Victoria: For some reason, I actually really like weather like this. I like cool humidity. I’m like a fern or something.
Alison: I GOT THE INTERVIEW!
Karin: YAY!!!!!! CONGRATS!!!! ::parade::
Alison: Aw, a parade!
Alison: Ooh, a dancing parade!
Karin: Too much?
Alison: There is confetti EVERYWHERE. Who is going to clean this up?
Karin: ::maintenance men::
“Almost Friday! Almost Friday! This calls for a bagel!” - Kristin
“I was cleaning my database; I have no time for workplace nudity,” - Pam
Victoria: It’s kind of a weird thing, really. I totally understand why recruiters exist, but I feel like I’m getting something for free, and it feels weird. Because I’m getting career advice and someone who will help me find a job… for free.
Me: What if it was your job to get other people jobs? That’s a weird job. How very meta.
Victoria: What if a recruiter helped you get a job as a recruiter?
Me: Whoa. Mind? Blown.
Victoria: This is why we shouldn’t smoke pot.
Me: ARRA! I miss you.
Rachelle: I miss you, too!
Me: We are like ships passing in the night.
Rachelle: We’re more like raccoons on the internet…
Me: That sounds like a band name…
Friend: I was like, “It hurts when I pee and I’m itchy,” and they were like, that’s nice.
Me: Ugh, you need a new gynecologist. These people are friggin’ incontinent.
Me: Oh my God, I meant INCOMPETENT. Your doctors aren’t peeing themselves.
Friend: Well… maybe they are…?
Note: SAS is a statistical analysis package that lots of people use to… analyze statistics.
Pam: At least you have SAS.
Alison: Yours still isn’t working?
Pam: Nope. I ran out of things to do.
Alison: Well, I’ll be merging four databases tomorrow. With 300+ records each.
Pam: I’m so jealous.
Alison: Well, come online and help. Since I will be having a meltdown.
Pam: I guess the SAS is always greener on the other side…